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Dating Advice from a Divorce Lawyer?

By Brenda L. Storey, Esq.

I have often thought that I could be a good matchmaker for my clients post-divorce.   I have seen them at their lowest, and know their personalities, interests, strengths, and dislikes.      It would, however, put me in an awkward position, to say the least.  So, instead, I think it best to stick with advice to people in general about new relationships post-divorce.

  • Don’t move on too soon.   Adequately mourn the loss of your marriage break up.   Complete the process emotionally.
  • Be healthy alone first.   A person must be healthy on his or her own before being able to be successful in a couple.
  • Don’t introduce your children to the new somebody until it is truly serious.  The children have already undergone loss, and do not need to be exposed to it again by another break up.
  • Learn from your past mistakes and attraction errors.   We tend to repeat our mistakes and be attracted to the same types.   This does not bode well for a new relationship.    Push yourself to understand what you contributed to the divorce, and what you saw in the other that in hindsight was not healthy.
  • Depending on how long you have been out of the game, brush up on safe sex.   This really cannot be laughed at and forgotten.   Sexually transmitted diseases are a serious risk, and a risk that people having been in long term marriages have not had to consider for years.
  • Date around.    Check out all that is out there, and do not limit yourself right off the bat.   This is a new chapter, and you want to shop carefully and thoroughly.
  • Realize you do not have to be in a relationship or even dating.    It is crucial that we all have alone time, and enjoy that.  It is good for the soul.
  • Have fun.   The key to dating again is remembering that it is for fun interaction.  We all deserve to enjoy!