Simone Weil wrote “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” And that is exactly what children need, especially children whose parents are divorcing – attention. It is such a simple thing to give, yet obligations of life seem to get in the way.
Attention, though, is about priorities. If children are the priority, giving 100% focused time should be simple! Divorce actually gives an opportunity for such focus. When the children are having parenting time with the other parent, life’s other obligations can be completed, such as grocery shopping, bill paying, cleaning, yard and home maintenance. During this time, electives can also be pursued, such as dating, spending time with friends. Then, when it is that parent’s parenting time, all other life static can be put aside, and full attention can be placed on the children. Maybe this is an upside of divorce!
Children do not choose divorce. They need to know that they are a priority, that they matter, and that their parents will be there for them. This can so easily be accomplished when the purest form of generosity is shown to them. There are also great side benefits to this. Children whose parents give them full focused attention do better in school and are less likely to have behavioral problems. The parents, too, benefit, with a healthier and more positive outlook. The human-to-human connection between parent and child is like no other, and should not be neglected.
So, put down the smart phone, push away the vacuum, turn off the television, and give your child attention. Then bask in the wonderful feelings and memories that that closeness creates, for you and your child.