Independence

By Brenda L. Storey, Esq.

With this month starting off with the celebration of our nation’s independence, it seems only appropriate to focus on “independence.”    The break-up of any relationship is difficult, and each person’s experience is his/her own.    But through each one, I see clients find a form of independence.  Some have independence in the sense of standing on their own.  Some are freeing themselves of an unhealthy dependence or co-dependency.  Others have independence from stress, pressure, unhappiness, financial burdens.

While this independence takes its own form for each person, the timing is also unique for each.  I have heard of research that suggests that it takes at least two full years on average for people to recover from a divorce.  During that average span, some get a sense of independence the day of separation.  Others do not realize it until well after the two years, and via much introspection.  There is no set timing of it, and it cannot be rushed or delayed.  Yet, when it is achieved it is obvious.

When our nation achieved its independence, there were many moments of worry, fear, concern about the future and unknowns.  Yet, none of that took away from the fact that our country had its independence!  The same is true in divorce.   It is not easy.  It will not be perfect.  There will be worry, concern, and fear of the unknown.  But it is still independence nonetheless, and that’s a good thing in whatever form.

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