Live a Life of Which You Can Be Proud

By Brenda L. Storey, Esq.

In a hearing last week, I was reminded that no matter how skilled the lawyer, we cannot change the facts that our clients bring to us.  It is true that all people have slight transgressions now and then, and when they are rare in number can he explained away or given a “pass.”   However, more regular instances of poor judgment become even harder to overcome.  Worse, actual patterns and histories of bad decisions can actually change the outcome of a case.  More importantly, children are impacted and not just by the ruling, but by the underlying decisions, transgressions and behavior.

This actually is not a tall order.   In basic terms:

  • Pay your child support
  • Contribute to your child’s expenses such as school and activities
  • Exercise all of your parenting time, and respect it as the privilege that it is rather than an obligation or option
  • Attend your child’s activities and interests
  • Don’t try to hide money, assets
  • Recognize that children are expensive, and worth it, so don’t play games with support
  • Prioritize your expenses, placing children at the very top
  • Prioritize your time, placing children at the very top
  • Commit to your word, and do what you say you will do
  • Do not speak negatively about the child’s other parent

This all really should come naturally to a parent, but if it does not, help is available.    There are excellent parent coaches and therapists that can work one-on-one with a parent to explore what causes resistance to these basic principles.   The benefit is many fold – the parent looks good in the eyes of the Court, the parent has a great chance at a good relationship with the child, and all of this leads to a happy life for the parent.  Now THAT is a life of which one can be proud!

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